A Gentle and Quiet Spirit

  "In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God."~1 Peter 3:1-4

What does it really mean to have a gentle and quiet spirit? And, what do I need to do to ensure that I have one? These are the questions that I have been asking myself lately.


According to The 1828 Noah Webster Dictionary, the words gentle and quiet can be defined as follows:

gentle-Mild; meek; soft; bland; not rough, harsh or severe; as a gentle nature, temper or disposition; a gentle manner; a gentle address; a gentle voice.

quiet-Peaceable; not turbulent; not giving offense; not exciting controversy, disorder or trouble; mild; meek; contented.


What would my husband say if I asked him how well these definitions define me? Honestly, I know what the answer would be, and it's not the one that I want to hear. No matter how good I may think my intentions are, I know that I don't  always go about things in the right manner.

I want to focus on three things that will help me become the woman described in this verse; attitude, discernment and wisdom.


1) Attitude- My attitude makes a big difference in how my husband responds to me. He needs to come home to a joyful, loving wife. If I am frustrated or have a negative attitude, I come across as nagging or complaing instead of encouraging and edifying.  I need to lift up my husband daily and point out the godly characteristics that I see in him. A husband needs his wifes love and encouragement, not her criticism. I need to focus on serving God, my husband and others instead of trying to make things the way I think they should be. 

    "Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion,  make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus."~ Philippians 2:1-5

 

2) Discernment- I need to discern the right timing and choose the right words when talking to my husband.  

 "There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven...A time to be silent and a time to speak."~Ecclesiastes 3:1, 7

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger."~Proverbs 15:1 

3)  Wisdom- I need to study the scriptures and pray for God's wisdom.

"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him."~James 1:5

"The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands."~Proverbs 14:1 

"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is."~Ephesians 5:15-17

"She openeth her mouth with wisdom; And the law of kindness is on her tongue."~Proverbs 31:26

I pray today that God will help me have the right attitude, use discernment and grow in wisdom in order to cultivate this spirit which is "precious in the sight of God," and a blessing to my husband.

"So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father."~Colossians 3:12-17